Oh to have life so simple!
I wake up, in the morn light and as I put on my jeans, I am feeling all right with the world, this small planet that is carried through the cosmos by winged elephants.
For it is true, the gods are smiling down upon us and proclaiming @ProfBrianCox has got it all wrong! Bless him, the lad tried hard, but in the end it was old Galileo's little mistake that got him - yes, we ARE the centre of the universe! Oh, for the humility of it all, everything that HE created revolves around US. Yes, US!! The centre, the chosen ones! Oh, I love me!
So, it must be off to that bestial seat of good humour, the Natural History Museum, where we can have belly laughs reading all those signs declaring that these bones are OLDER than 6000 years? Oh, how droll! I mean, the gods only put them there 6000 years ago or so (give or take, I am not fussy).
But, they are just fooling with us. Those comedy science acts, they make our side veritably ache with laughter, bless them. They rush around, planting all these dino-something bones in the ground, sneak away, and then rush back and discover them, all to make our life that much funnier!
And then, just as we hit lunch time, they tell us that the cow we are eating is a relative! Yes, a RELATIVE! They wave their carefully contrived book of comedy, the Origin of Jokes by C. Darwin, the famous satirist who proclaimed that we are all cousins, we all have the same ancestor, all just to give us a good laugh - we love him.
Yes, it is good to have joy, to have fun and these Sundays in the Sun that the big man made for us.
Collusion, Delusion, Intelligence Transfusion - You couldn't make it up!
(Editor's Note: You can visit the writer every Sunday at the Care Home for Unreliable Research and Complete Horseshit. We promise not to let him out again)