After years of super-scientific research, here is your essential Detox List for 2015:
Get that liver out and give it a good scrub!
Yes, your liver is made out sea sponge and we know how that gets all clogged up. So, drag it out and give it a good clean in the sink. Better still, replace it with a real sponge!
Chuck out those old, nasty, icky scientists!
Kill joys can really mess up your body! They get into all those nooks and crannies and sit around telling you your favourite celeb is talking bullshit! Well, girlies, wash them out - purge yourself of all those bad vibes and common sense! What do you need real, boring science for when you got the
Wonder of Pseudo-Science!
Flush out that Cash
Your life is stuffed full of that horrible cash - all those extra pounds and dollars making your feel heavy, gooey and slowwww! Well, get it out of your system!
Yes, boys, with a simply monthly subscription to your favourite "We Speak Bollocks" life-style magazine, you can have access to all those super-dooper-do-absolutely-nothing-for-you products to make you feel so-so good!
Your excess cash will be gone in seconds leaving your with that wonderful "I have nothing left" feeling!
What's Your Poison?
Your life is full of Poison! Is Alice Cooper floating in your Porridge? What about that big red bucket of sand in your dinner? And that Justin Beber-thing - is he banging on your door again?
Do not fear!
Flush out all those Horrible Heavy Metals, Fire Retardants and Pests OUT OUT OUT of your system! Just spend-spend-spend with Goopy Parltrow's "I Speak Fluent Flatulance" book on Detox - you know it makes sense!
You could simply eat healthily, ignore the complete bollocks spoken by celebs out to make money out of you, tell those companies to stop selling their fake science, and just get on with your life.
YOUR BODY DOES NOT NEED DETOX.
It does it quite naturally and better than anything you can add.
For more information, read Debunking Detox by sense about science. Save your cash and stop supporting con artists trying to sell you rubbish.
Detox - Dont Fall For It!